I didnt know what i was doing or if anyone would watch me but what i knew is i didn't wanna live the way i was living anymore... I was sad and miserable for far too long.. It was finally time to figure out who i was and what i truly wanted out of my life... It wass't easy and still isn't and has taken alot of searching for that person who i want to be and strive to be and i havent yet gotten there but i am closer to loving the person who i am!!
I guess I really didnt start to see the real alicia what she had done to herself and what she looked like and how she would smile and put on a FAKE smile or Fake laugh so everyone would think i was ok... But i never was.. I never saw what others saw until i made my first video and even then i don't think i truly saw what others saw... I didn't feel 560 pounds... I was sure the SCALE, the DOCTORS and even the MIRROR was lying to me!!! that wasnt me... i'm NOT that big!!! Who is that FAT person in the mirror!!!
Why couldn't i see it a long time ago....Why and HOW did i let myself get to this point!!! Who is gonna save me is what i thought back then.... I never thought back then that I would be the one SAVING MYSELF!!!!
It took alot to see myself in that mirror and realize thats me.... Am I ready to change... Can i accept me?
Am I worth Fighting for ?? well all those questions are questions i had to ask myself... and until recently i don't really think that i was even ready to answer...
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